Browsing articles tagged with " Newport"

What is DBT? How does it work? Can it help me?

What is DBT?  How does it work?  Can it help me?

The Queen of DBT

At Anchor Counseling Center, Inc. in RI we offer individuals Dialectical Behavior Therapy or better known as DBT.  Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Founded by Dr. Marsha Linehan in the late 1970’s, is a modification of Cognitive Behavior Therapy that focuses its main goals on teaching clients how to cope with stress, regulate emotions and improve relationships with others and their inner self. DBT can be used to treat a number of mental health conditions including those suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression and mood disorders, anxiety disorders, personality disorders, those who have suicidal thoughts and feelings, and those who exhibit self-destructive behavior such as eating disorders and substance abuse. DBT works on the foundations of radical acceptance of the self and validation of client’s capabilities and behavioral functioning.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy works in four stages: Emotional Regulation, Mindfulness, Interpersonal effectiveness and Distress tolerance.

Stage one: Emotional Regulation- seeks to regulate client’s emotions by teaching them techniques and giving them tools to regain control of their behaviors. This stage will help the client develop healthy coping skills to dealing with their emotions. The main goal of this stage is to help clients stop self-harmful behaviors or behaviors that interfere with their logical thought process.

Stage Two: Mindfulness -seeks to help the client focus on experiencing their emotions. This stage teaches clients to completely experience all of their emotions without the feeling of losing control.

Stage Three: Interpersonal Effectiveness- seeks to help clients deal with everyday life, its stressors and accepting them for what they are. This stage expands on working to have more successful relationships, careers and social lives by really understanding the self and accepting the inner you.

Stage Four: Distress Tolerance-seeks to reintegrate and connect the client to their everyday world. This is the stage clients will use what have learned in stages 1-3 and put them to use to help deal with relationships, careers and social life. This stage encourages the client to engage and takes steps into making their life more meaningful to challenge what they have learned.

We at Anchor Counseling Center want to help you, If you feel that you or a loved one would benefit from this type of therapy, a number of Clinicians at Anchor Counseling Center offer this treatment please call our office at 401-475-9979 to schedule an appointment.  Or you can visit our website:  AnchorCounselingCenter.com

Article written by Sarah Porier.

Common Mistakes in Co-Parenting

Common Mistakes of Co-parenting

As the divorce rates continue to trend upwards in America, many parents are finding themselves with a new challenge to face.  At Anchor Counseling we recognize this trend.  Once a marriage has officially dissolved, many people would like to close the proverbial door on that chapter of their lives.  However, when children are involved, the ex-spouses are forever linked in that very special way.  Through my work with counseling co-parents, I have discovered some common road blocks many couples stumble over preventing them from successful co-parenting their children.

One of the hardest aspects most co-parents will face is trying to move past the residual emotions left behind from the dissolved relationship.  The separation process tends to leave a trail of resentment, pain, and mistrust for different reasons; yet, in order for successful co-parenting to occur, these emotions have be left out of the process.  This is certainly easier said than done, which is why parents are encouraged to find their own appropriate outlet for these emotions (talking to a family member or friend, exercise, yoga, relaxation techniques, reading, and any other healthy stress-relieving activity).  Although using the phone to vent to a trusted support can be helpful, make sure you are aware of your surroundings. Children are often extremely curious about the details regarding these situations, and they can be quite adept at eavesdropping on phone conversations.   Make sure to double-check for “little ears” and find a remote location before expressing your frustrations regarding your ex-partner.

When you are speaking to your child (or if he/she is in earshot), please refrain from saying anything negative regarding the other parent.  I typically encourage co-parents to keep it either positive or neutral when discussing the other parent with the child, and if this is too difficult, I revert back to the old saying, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.  Children can be quite impressionable, and negative comments about the other parent can be full of impact and confusing.   Most children have a difficult time dealing with a fundamental shift in their family’s dynamics, and any added confusion is not helpful.  As best as you possibly can, you want to encourage the child to have a positive relationship with the other parent.  Although the other parent may have been a poor spouse, he/she might have some positive aspects to their parenting from which your child could benefit.   As children grow, they will discover which parent(s) are there for them, which parent(s) they can trust, and which parent(s) truly love them.  If you do your part, they will come to respect you for it when they get older.  If the other parent does not do their part, the child will recognize this as they mature – you don’t need to point it out to them every step along the way.

Often times throughout co-parenting, the child will need to transition from one parent’s care to the other’s care.  These transition times can be impressionable for the child, and they provide another opportunity to successfully co-parent.  In order for these interactions to be positive, both parents need to demonstrate a level of respect for the other person.  For the sake of the child, each parent should interact in a positive and cooperative way during these transitions.  A child can be quite in tune to a parent’s affect and body language, so each parent should be aware of how he/she is presenting during these transition times.  Each parent needs to demonstrate respect in what they say, as well as how they act.  If one parent is going to be late for the transition meeting, he/she should alert the other party to inform them of this development, therefore demonstrating respect for the other parent’s time and schedule.  Role modeling a healthy and respectful relationship with the other parent can be tremendously influential to the child’s development and happiness.

Co-parenting with an ex-partner can seem overwhelming, unbearable, and downright impossible at times.  However, when co-parenting is done correctly (through respect, healthy communication, and positive transitions), this process can become a little easier.  If you find yourself in this situation, please remember to keep the best interest of this child first and foremost.  When this perspective is taken, the co-parenting process can be successful.  Remember, you can only control yourself.  If you focus your efforts on becoming the best co-parent that you can be, hopefully the other parent will follow suit.

We at Anchor Counseling want to help you.  Please visit our website by clicking here.

If you would like any additional information on my own professional ideas or modalities of treatment please click here.

You can also reach us at 401.475.9979

Trevor Yingling, LMHC

Assistant Clinical Director

Anchor Counseling Center

You can follow us on Facebook by clicking here.

You can follow us on Twitter by clicking here.

Or on Pinterest!

Anchor Counseling Center: 4 Tips to a Happy and Healthy Relationship

Tips for a Happy and Healthy Relationship


Each week couples come into our office seeking help for problems in their relationship. Some couples have been married for several years and feel that they have lost a connection with their spouse. Others have only been together a couple of years but feel that they are no longer happy together. Whichever category you fall into, it is important to seek some kind of counseling as soon as you start to feel unhappy. According to John Gottman, a relationship expert, the average couple waits six years before seeking therapy for problems in their relationship.

Here are some tips for a healthy and happy relationship:

Trust: According to Gottman, trust is the most vital ingredient to a successful relationship. Many factors go into building trust and it is something that couples need to nurture every day.

Good communication: It is important to listen to what your spouse has to say and consider their feelings when making decisions. One way to make sure everyone feels that their opinion is heard it to take turns talking and not allow interruptions until the other person is done speaking.

Make time for each other: Often couples report that they are not spending time together like they used to. This can be due to busy schedules or having children. Some couples feel that finances hold them back from doing things together. All couples, no matter what their situation, can take half an hour each day to go for a walk or cook together.

Parenting: Being on the same page in terms of parenting is crucial. Not agreeing on rules and consequences at home can lead to children acting out which can make for an unhappy household.

If you feel that this applies to your relationship, please call us at Anchor Counseling Center today to schedule an appointment with one of our therapist.  You can visit our website by clicking here.  If you would like to call us our number is 401.475.9979

Tania Weld, LMFT

Anchor Counseling Center

The Military presents challenges for all!

Sep 17, 2012   //   by Richard Figueira   //   Blog, East Bay, East Providence, Lincoln, Rhode Island, Marriage, Mental Health, News, Self Help, Stress, Uncategorized, cranston  //  No Comments

At Anchor Counseling we provide therapy to families from deployed individuals.  As a military wife/SO for over 10 yrs I have been a part of many different experiences. Military life is a unique cultural that at times can present challenges to individuals and families as well as lots of successes.  As the war comes to an end, there will be many soldiers returning home that may be dealing with many different changes and expectations.  As a clinician, I think it is extremely important to become educated with this population and be aware of different issues/needs and concerns that they may face on a daily basis.  Reintegration is a joyous and stressful time!  Reintegration is about more than coming home. It is about resuming and establishing relationships that provide pleasure, comfort and support.

Many service members returning from deployment may experience what are referred to as “invisible injuries”. Invisible injuries include posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD),  traumatic brain injury (TBI), depression and anxiety that can result from combat exposure. Sometimes alcohol, tobacco and drug use, as well as impulsive or aggressive behavior can magnify these conditions.   All of these problems can compromise relationships reducing one’s ability to enjoy pleasurable and health activities.  Here are a few helpful tips for what soldiers/spouses and children may feel/experience.

With deployment comes change. Knowing what to expect and how to deal with changes can make homecoming more enjoyable and less stressful. Below are some hints you might find helpful.

With deployment comes change. Knowing what to expect and how to deal with changes can make homecoming more enjoyable and less stressful. Below are some hints you might find helpful.

Expectations for Soldiers:

  • You may miss the excitement of the deployment for a while.
  • Some things may have changed while you were gone.
  • Face to face communication may be hard at first.
  • Sexual closeness may also be awkward at first.
  • Children have grown and may be different in many ways.
  • Roles may have changed to manage basic household chores.
  • Spouses may have become more independent and learned new coping skills.
  • Spouses may have new friends and support systems.
  • You may have changed in your outlook and priorities in life.
  • You may want to talk about what you saw and did. Others may seem not to want to listen. Or you may not want to talk about it when others keep asking.

Expectations for Spouses:

  • Soldiers may have changed.
  • Soldiers, used to the open spaces of the field, may feel closed in.
  • Soldiers also may be overwhelmed by noise and confusion of home life.
  • Soldiers may be on a different schedule of sleeping and eating (jet lag).
  • Soldiers may wonder if they still fit into the family.
  • Soldiers may want to take back all the responsibilities they had before they left.
  • Soldiers may feel hurt when young children are slow to hug them.

What Children May Feel:

  • Babies less than 1 year old may not know you and may cry when held.
  • Toddlers (1-3 years) may hide from you and be slow to come to you.
  • Preschoolers (3-5 years) may feel guilty over the separation and be scared.
  • School age (6-12 years) may want a lot of your time and attention.
  • Teenagers (13-18 years) may be moody and may appear not to care.
  • Any age may feel guilty about not living up to your standards.
  • Some may fear your return (“Wait until mommy/daddy gets home!”).
  • Some may feel torn by loyalties to the spouse who remained.

Amy J. Chirichetti, LICSW

https://www.militarymentalhealth.org/

You can also visit our website at www.AnchorCounselingCenter.com

An Anxious World! Anxiety Treatment in RI

Jan 26, 2012   //   by Richard Figueira   //   Blog, East Providence, Lincoln, Rhode Island, Marriage, Mental Health, News, Self Help, Stress, Uncategorized, cranston  //  No Comments

An Anxious World

At Anchor Counseling Center we believe that s human beings, we all experience a form of anxiety at some point during our lives.  Anxiety is often thought of as worry and fear about uncertainties. It is usually depicted as a negative attribute, but it can also serve the useful purpose of alerting one of lurking danger. We may find ourselves worrying about school, work, our kids, or paying bills, and that’s all perfectly normal. When anxiety and worrying is a persistent, or common, feature causing disruption to your daily life, then it becomes a maladaptive. Excessive worrying may interfere with your relationships, your leisure activities, and can eventually lead to physical health issues.  According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 40 million adults in the U.S., in the span of one year, suffer from an anxiety disorder2. The average age of onset for anxiety is 11 years old; so many children are affected by anxiety disorders as well2.  Also, women are more likely do experience anxiety disorders than men2. So anxiety is not a new or unheard of phenomenon, and it is fairly common, however, some may not recognize symptoms of maladaptive anxiety because it may not look like the common perception of an anxiety-ridden individual.

In fact, anxiety disorders can take on many forms, and one person’s experience with excessive worrying can be completely different than another person’s experience. Some people have very general based anxiety of which they worry excessively about every little thing throughout the day, from work, school, paying bills, to having enough time to complete a task, or to what will happen if my car stops working. A popular perception of an anxiety disorder is of people with specific phobias. For instance, an individual’s fear-based worrying may only be provoked by exposure to specific stimuli, such as a bridge above water, or snakes. Even though the phobia is highly specific, it may be clinically significant if the individual experiences anxiety about it on a daily basis and it interrupts his/her daily tasks.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, commonly termed OCD, is also a form of an anxiety disorder1. A person with OCD will have obsessive thoughts, which tend to cause marked anxiety or distress, and/or compulsions, which are often performed in order to reduce anxiety.  Take for example, a man who has a fear of germs contaminating his body. This man worries constantly throughout the day about contracting some disease from all the germs he believes surrounds him. In order to reduce the likelihood of him contracting this horrid disease, he washes his hands 52 times, every time he goes to the bathroom or touches an object he does not own. As a matter of fact, he also showers at least twice a day for more than 45 minutes, and if he forgets to clean any body part, he goes back and re-showers entirely.

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, and Acute Stress Disorder, are characterized by “anxiety from re-experiencing a traumatizing event, often accompanied by symptoms of increased arousal, and avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma”1. While PTSD can occur any time after the traumatic event, Acute Stress Disorder occurs immediately after the traumatic event, lasting for at most, four weeks. In this form of anxiety disorder, there is a distinct trigger event where the individual felt threatened.

Other forms of an anxiety disorder to mention is Panic Disorder With and Without Agoraphobia, Agoraphobia without a history of Panic Disorder, and Social Phobia.  Panic Disorder without Agoraphobia is characterized by recurrent, unexpected panic attacks about which there is persistent concern, while a person suffering from Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia may experience both recurrent, unexpected panic attacks, and anxiety about places or situations that may not be easily escapable.  That being said, Agoraphobia, “is anxiety about or avoidance of places or situations from which escape may be difficult (or embarrassing)”1. Social Phobia is basically when a person’s “anxiety is triggered by exposure to social situations in which he/she is exposed to unfamiliar people or to possibly scrutiny by others”1.

As you can see, there are a variety of anxiety disorders; however, one thing to note is that anxiety has an altering effect on one’s perception of the world around them and an effect on one’s interpretation of the stimuli he/she is exposed to. A Common behavior associated with people who have anxiety disorders is avoidance behavior. For example, the man with a phobia of bridges above water may stop going to visit his parents because he refuses to drive or walk over any bridge above water. In fact, he may miss a work conference next week that is detrimental to his job security because it’s across a bridge over water.  Another example is people with social phobias who avoid public speaking at all costs. Even with OCD, the compulsions acts as an avoidance mechanism set to reduce ones anxiety about an obsessive thought.

Also many anxiety stricken individuals have cognitive errors set in place that alter their ability to make judgments and function in the every-day world. Most people with anxiety tend overestimate the probability of the occurrence of the worry at hand. On the other hand some people assume that an outcome will be much less manageable than it actually is, also known as catastrohpizing. A big commonality amongst those suffering anxiety is the human tendency to be intolerant of uncertainty, the fear of ambiguity, and the acceptance of change.

Most people don’t like to be surprised by negative events, and more often than not, we want to try and control (or limit) the amount and impact of those negative events. But humans cannot know, or evade every problem—sometimes we just have to go through the pain. And attempting to control or change something you have no power to control or change is physically exacerbating to the human body and psyche. Taking risks, accepting change, and understanding that uncertainty is not an abyss of pain and negativity is a part of alleviating some anxiety.  Dr. Biali (2012), as do many psychologists, argues that anxiety is not always bad—it’s a part of experiencing life and trying something new3,4. Now, excessive anxiety about things you truly can’t control becomes tiresome and is often how clients present—overly stressed. Biali (2012), suggests several healthy ways to help people reduce anxiety, including, writing one’s worries down, practice breathing exercises, do yoga or stretching and exercise to alleviate muscle tension, and to avoid stimulants (like caffeinated beverages)3. Will this rid you of your anxiety? Probably not, but it can help you manage it.

Biali (2012) and Markway (2012), both suggest that in order to address and solve issues regarding your anxiety and excessive worry, one should invoke the assistance of a professional that is trained to guide you in restructuring your current cognitive methodology, and avoidance behaviors. According to the National Institute of Mental Health and the Psychological Diagnostic Manual, people with anxiety disorders usually benefit from methods of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and/or Exposure Therapy. Here at Anchor Counseling Center, we have therapists trained in both CBT and exposure therapy to help you reduce your anxiety and manage healthier lifestyle.

By: Aryssa Washington

Sources

1The American Psychiatric Association: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision, Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000.

2www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/anxiety-disorders/complete-index.shtml

3Biali, S. (2012). How to manage the anxiety that comes with change. Prescription for Life: Psychology Today com

4Markway, B. (2012). Can Willpower help you overcome social anxiety: willpower is not always about giving something up. Shyness Is Nice: Psychology Today.com

Human suffering and the Journey to The Other Side

Jan 26, 2012   //   by Richard Figueira   //   Blog, East Bay, East Providence, Lincoln, Rhode Island, Marriage, Mental Health, News, Self Help, Stress, cranston  //  No Comments

A Whisper of Light

By: Aryssa Washington

To where is escape but after the dive—a liberating plunge

I may find it, or an abyss of nothingness

Face over the edge—barely breathing

Or should I hold it in forever?

Until breaking past the first cold sweep of water shivering over my body, pushing me deeper into the dark

The murky puddle remains expansive to my sight

My toes lurk at the edge in anticipatory trepidation, tipping and teetering toward the damp darkness as one lonely droplet scantily clad in ache, sears a path into icy cold bleakness

Down towards the plunge

Into the dark, out of the light

Out of the dark, into the light

I know not the escape.

A wavering shape, she stares back at me mirrored in the murky pools

Heated eyes, pelt livid drops of rain lightly across the shimmering abyss

Stretched and taut, I poise my body firmly for flight

I let my feet leave the sturdy form of concrete, diving in

An inferno of blazing anger and fight crash into the stark impact of cool, ice swarming to attack the invading heat

The fire-lit scar indolently marking my life draws out the light

Mouth formed to scream the words, hands itching to gouge free, digging deep, tearing it apart to burn by the drop, by the dive, to melt away in the dark.

Uttering a shriek I break in, seeping into the darkest chasm

Dismal lights fade, giving way to the waves of deeper ocean, a different sea

The tears and pain once searching, relax into a calming ebb and flow

The last flickering blaze burning out, melding into icy cold waves

Towing and tugging me willingly to the cold pillow lit to drench my rest in serenity

I see her, standing over me, before she dives, after the dream—liberated from a sleeping image, replaced by her, by me.

My minds whisper a lit by the wish that tranquility remain.

Please visit our website for other Blogs.

Change is a Process!

Jan 26, 2012   //   by Richard Figueira   //   Blog, East Bay, East Providence, Lincoln, Rhode Island, Marriage, Mental Health, News, Self Help, Stress, cranston  //  No Comments

Many people come into therapy hoping the process will be a quick and easy fix. But at Anchor Counseling Center we realize that humans are complex beings; it’s a bit presumptuous to think that human issues can be solved by a simple resolution. In most cases the resolution to an individual’s problem is fairly simple; it’s the process to get to the desired resolution that takes time and effort. For example, if I were to just tell a client, “just change your thinking,” the problems most likely wouldn’t immediately dissipate, leaving my client worry free and on a straight-shot path to all the joys of life. To be perfectly honest, true therapy takes work, on the part of the therapist as well as the client.

Choosing to go into therapy can be scary, daunting, and quite frankly it almost seems like an invitation for more anxiety. It is human nature to not exactly enjoy change in one’s life, but that decision to try therapy is making the statement that, “I want things to change,” or “I want something to be different.” That’s the first step and it’s a big one for a lot of clients. As a side-note, as therapists, we don’t have this hidden agenda to change you into some mythical creature of all things moral or a “mini-me,” and we aren’t going to force you to change. Our desire is to help you figure out who it is that you want to be, or what it is that you want, and then give you a little push in that direction. Coming into therapy may be anxiety provoking—anything new is going to be—but in the midst of change, anxiety can be a good thing. And a bit of anxiety now, in order to alleviate your suffering, may be minor in the aftermath of the therapeutic process.  At Anchor Counseling Center, you will never be left in the wind hanging by a coat hanger off the ledge of a cliff wishing you had never made that leap into therapy. Our therapists are dedicated to helping those in the community who want something different, and who want something to change.

If you or someone you know could benefit from therapy please Contact us!

You can also visit our website!

Please feel free to follow us

Facebook or

Twitter

Let us call you

Download Our App

Our Latest Tweets

“Like” us on Facebook

E-Therapy Payment