Browsing articles tagged with " Behavioral issues"

Common Mistakes in Co-Parenting

Common Mistakes of Co-parenting

As the divorce rates continue to trend upwards in America, many parents are finding themselves with a new challenge to face.  At Anchor Counseling we recognize this trend.  Once a marriage has officially dissolved, many people would like to close the proverbial door on that chapter of their lives.  However, when children are involved, the ex-spouses are forever linked in that very special way.  Through my work with counseling co-parents, I have discovered some common road blocks many couples stumble over preventing them from successful co-parenting their children.

One of the hardest aspects most co-parents will face is trying to move past the residual emotions left behind from the dissolved relationship.  The separation process tends to leave a trail of resentment, pain, and mistrust for different reasons; yet, in order for successful co-parenting to occur, these emotions have be left out of the process.  This is certainly easier said than done, which is why parents are encouraged to find their own appropriate outlet for these emotions (talking to a family member or friend, exercise, yoga, relaxation techniques, reading, and any other healthy stress-relieving activity).  Although using the phone to vent to a trusted support can be helpful, make sure you are aware of your surroundings. Children are often extremely curious about the details regarding these situations, and they can be quite adept at eavesdropping on phone conversations.   Make sure to double-check for “little ears” and find a remote location before expressing your frustrations regarding your ex-partner.

When you are speaking to your child (or if he/she is in earshot), please refrain from saying anything negative regarding the other parent.  I typically encourage co-parents to keep it either positive or neutral when discussing the other parent with the child, and if this is too difficult, I revert back to the old saying, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.  Children can be quite impressionable, and negative comments about the other parent can be full of impact and confusing.   Most children have a difficult time dealing with a fundamental shift in their family’s dynamics, and any added confusion is not helpful.  As best as you possibly can, you want to encourage the child to have a positive relationship with the other parent.  Although the other parent may have been a poor spouse, he/she might have some positive aspects to their parenting from which your child could benefit.   As children grow, they will discover which parent(s) are there for them, which parent(s) they can trust, and which parent(s) truly love them.  If you do your part, they will come to respect you for it when they get older.  If the other parent does not do their part, the child will recognize this as they mature – you don’t need to point it out to them every step along the way.

Often times throughout co-parenting, the child will need to transition from one parent’s care to the other’s care.  These transition times can be impressionable for the child, and they provide another opportunity to successfully co-parent.  In order for these interactions to be positive, both parents need to demonstrate a level of respect for the other person.  For the sake of the child, each parent should interact in a positive and cooperative way during these transitions.  A child can be quite in tune to a parent’s affect and body language, so each parent should be aware of how he/she is presenting during these transition times.  Each parent needs to demonstrate respect in what they say, as well as how they act.  If one parent is going to be late for the transition meeting, he/she should alert the other party to inform them of this development, therefore demonstrating respect for the other parent’s time and schedule.  Role modeling a healthy and respectful relationship with the other parent can be tremendously influential to the child’s development and happiness.

Co-parenting with an ex-partner can seem overwhelming, unbearable, and downright impossible at times.  However, when co-parenting is done correctly (through respect, healthy communication, and positive transitions), this process can become a little easier.  If you find yourself in this situation, please remember to keep the best interest of this child first and foremost.  When this perspective is taken, the co-parenting process can be successful.  Remember, you can only control yourself.  If you focus your efforts on becoming the best co-parent that you can be, hopefully the other parent will follow suit.

We at Anchor Counseling want to help you.  Please visit our website by clicking here.

If you would like any additional information on my own professional ideas or modalities of treatment please click here.

You can also reach us at 401.475.9979

Trevor Yingling, LMHC

Assistant Clinical Director

Anchor Counseling Center

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Mental Health News: 10 Steps to Prevent Suicide

Jul 19, 2012   //   by Shawna Figueira   //   Blog, East Bay, East Providence, Lincoln, Rhode Island, Marriage, Mental Health, News, Self Help, Stress, Uncategorized, cranston  //  No Comments

Anchor Counseling Center is sharing the latest on Suicide Prevention.  As a private practice with locations in East Providence, Cranston, Lincoln, and North Attleboro, we are very involved in the community and reach out to our members with a caring and supportive manner.  Our mission is to provide our patients with the help they want as quickly as possible with reliable, courteous, and professional counseling and psychiatric interventions.

Just as CPR has been promoted to save lives, it is vital that the general public knows how to recognize suicide risk and prevent suicide. Here are the steps:

1. Notice if the person appears quiet and withdrawn, oversleeps, has crying episodes, has loss of appetite and energy, appears dishevelled, the gaze is downward, the voice tone is flat, consistently negative comments, irritability, or says things like, “Life’s not worth living,” or “I hate my life,” etc.

2. Ask: “How would you rate your mood right now on a scale of zero to ten with zero meaning life’s not worth living and ten meaning life is great?”

3. If the person rates the mood as 5 or under, ask: “Have you had any thoughts of suicide or of harming yourself?” *

4. If the person indicates yes, go to the next step. If the person says, “I don’t know,” hear this as a “yes” to the question in #3.

5. Ask: “Have you thought about how you might end your life?” If the person says yes, the risk is increased.

6. Ask: “What have you thought about as how you might do it?” If the plan or method is ineffective or non-lethal, such as cutting wrists, the risk is low. If the method is lethal such as using a gun or jumping from a bridge, etc., the risk is high.

7. Regardless of the method, ask: “Can we agree together that if you have thoughts of killing yourself, you will speak to me personally (not my voice mail) before carrying out a plan to harm yourself?”

8. If the person says “no” or “I don’t know,” to the question in #7, say: “What I am hearing is that you are in a lot of pain right now and thinking of ending your life, so I am wanting you to go to the emergency room right now and get some help to feel better right away. Will you go? I will make sure you get there safely. Is there a family member or someone I can call to go with you?” Or tell the person you will go with them yourself.

9. Arrange for the suicidal person to be accompanied to the emergency room, and call ahead to tell emergency staff the person is coming.

10. If the person refuses, then ask the person to wait there with someone while you call police in another room to report that the person has threatened suicide with a lethal method. Ask the police to come and accompany the person to the emergency room.

If you know someone that needs help please call us immediately at 401.475.9979.

*Note: If the person rates his mood as 6 or over, after feeling consistently depressed, and he now reports life is great and he is smiling, the risk may be increased because he has decided to end his life and has made arrangements.

Article shared from http://www.prlog.org/11928309-mental-health-news-ten-steps-to-prevent-suicide.html

Counseling for Children, Adolescents, Adults, Couples and Families in Cranston

Mar 9, 2012   //   by Shawna Figueira   //   Blog, East Providence, Lincoln, Rhode Island, Marriage, Mental Health, Stress, cranston  //  No Comments

Anchor Counseling Center

Cranston Office

At Anchor Counseling Center we offer counseling, therapy, psychiatry, coaching for children, adults, families, and couples.  The center also offers group therapy and consultation to school districts to assist with providing appropriate education to those children who need the assistance in order to be able to access the general curriculum.

Our services also include:

  • Adult psychotherapy
  • Child psychotherapy
  • Play Therapy
  • Holistic Counseling
  • Addiction Counseling
  • Suboxone Treatment
  • Social Skills Groups
  • Couples/Marriage Counseling
  • Psychiatric Evaluations
  • Medication Management
  • Services for Children with Autism
  • EAP Services and Consults
  • Life Coaching
  • ADHD evaluations for children and Adults

Our clinical staff are all independently licensed therapists and are committed and capable of providing quality care by listening to our clients and together creating a plan for change.

In each of our locations, we have created an environment where they are warm, welcoming, calming, and relaxing for your therapeutic process to begin.  We work closely with all medical professional involved in your life and take you, the entire person into account to allow the most exceptional care.  We believe in working in collaboration with all the people involved in your life.

Everyone presents with different issues at different times.  Our integrative approach allows us to partner you with the most qualified therapists.  With over 25 therapists, each with different areas of expertise, we will find one that best suits your needs.

We believe in helping our clients facilitate their own ability for change.  He or she will become an expert by being offered education, groups, and or workshops.  We also use social media to reach out to our population with journals, quotes, and information on a daily basis.

Our mission and vision:

Our Mission

Here at Anchor Counseling Center our mission is to provide superior, family oriented mental health services through dependability, integrity and social responsibility.

Our Vision:

To provide the tools to heal through reliable support, coordination of care, psychoeducation, medication, and counseling.

To teach the maintenance of mental well being to patients, their families and the community.

To service all ages, from children through the elderly, without prejudice, prejudgment or bias.

Our vision is t o provide superior, family oriented mental health services through dependability, integrity and social responsibility throughout Southern New England.

To ease the pain of mental illness and provide hope to patients and their families.

To help others help themselves.

To advocate for patients to get them the care they need and deserve.

To reverse the negative stigma attached to mental illness.

At Anchor Counseling Center…

We are here for when you need help…Now.  No waiting lists.

We listen

We help

We support

Let us be the Anchor in your life.  We promise to be reliable and consistent.  No issue to big or small.  We want to help.  Together, we can attain your goals towards a better tomorrow.

You can click on contact for immediate assistance.

You can follow us on Facebook.

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You can email us @ info@AnchorCounselingCenter.com

or call us 401.475.9979


An Anxious World! Anxiety Treatment in RI

Jan 26, 2012   //   by Shawna Figueira   //   Blog, East Providence, Lincoln, Rhode Island, Marriage, Mental Health, News, Self Help, Stress, Uncategorized, cranston  //  No Comments

An Anxious World

At Anchor Counseling Center we believe that s human beings, we all experience a form of anxiety at some point during our lives.  Anxiety is often thought of as worry and fear about uncertainties. It is usually depicted as a negative attribute, but it can also serve the useful purpose of alerting one of lurking danger. We may find ourselves worrying about school, work, our kids, or paying bills, and that’s all perfectly normal. When anxiety and worrying is a persistent, or common, feature causing disruption to your daily life, then it becomes a maladaptive. Excessive worrying may interfere with your relationships, your leisure activities, and can eventually lead to physical health issues.  According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 40 million adults in the U.S., in the span of one year, suffer from an anxiety disorder2. The average age of onset for anxiety is 11 years old; so many children are affected by anxiety disorders as well2.  Also, women are more likely do experience anxiety disorders than men2. So anxiety is not a new or unheard of phenomenon, and it is fairly common, however, some may not recognize symptoms of maladaptive anxiety because it may not look like the common perception of an anxiety-ridden individual.

In fact, anxiety disorders can take on many forms, and one person’s experience with excessive worrying can be completely different than another person’s experience. Some people have very general based anxiety of which they worry excessively about every little thing throughout the day, from work, school, paying bills, to having enough time to complete a task, or to what will happen if my car stops working. A popular perception of an anxiety disorder is of people with specific phobias. For instance, an individual’s fear-based worrying may only be provoked by exposure to specific stimuli, such as a bridge above water, or snakes. Even though the phobia is highly specific, it may be clinically significant if the individual experiences anxiety about it on a daily basis and it interrupts his/her daily tasks.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, commonly termed OCD, is also a form of an anxiety disorder1. A person with OCD will have obsessive thoughts, which tend to cause marked anxiety or distress, and/or compulsions, which are often performed in order to reduce anxiety.  Take for example, a man who has a fear of germs contaminating his body. This man worries constantly throughout the day about contracting some disease from all the germs he believes surrounds him. In order to reduce the likelihood of him contracting this horrid disease, he washes his hands 52 times, every time he goes to the bathroom or touches an object he does not own. As a matter of fact, he also showers at least twice a day for more than 45 minutes, and if he forgets to clean any body part, he goes back and re-showers entirely.

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, and Acute Stress Disorder, are characterized by “anxiety from re-experiencing a traumatizing event, often accompanied by symptoms of increased arousal, and avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma”1. While PTSD can occur any time after the traumatic event, Acute Stress Disorder occurs immediately after the traumatic event, lasting for at most, four weeks. In this form of anxiety disorder, there is a distinct trigger event where the individual felt threatened.

Other forms of an anxiety disorder to mention is Panic Disorder With and Without Agoraphobia, Agoraphobia without a history of Panic Disorder, and Social Phobia.  Panic Disorder without Agoraphobia is characterized by recurrent, unexpected panic attacks about which there is persistent concern, while a person suffering from Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia may experience both recurrent, unexpected panic attacks, and anxiety about places or situations that may not be easily escapable.  That being said, Agoraphobia, “is anxiety about or avoidance of places or situations from which escape may be difficult (or embarrassing)”1. Social Phobia is basically when a person’s “anxiety is triggered by exposure to social situations in which he/she is exposed to unfamiliar people or to possibly scrutiny by others”1.

As you can see, there are a variety of anxiety disorders; however, one thing to note is that anxiety has an altering effect on one’s perception of the world around them and an effect on one’s interpretation of the stimuli he/she is exposed to. A Common behavior associated with people who have anxiety disorders is avoidance behavior. For example, the man with a phobia of bridges above water may stop going to visit his parents because he refuses to drive or walk over any bridge above water. In fact, he may miss a work conference next week that is detrimental to his job security because it’s across a bridge over water.  Another example is people with social phobias who avoid public speaking at all costs. Even with OCD, the compulsions acts as an avoidance mechanism set to reduce ones anxiety about an obsessive thought.

Also many anxiety stricken individuals have cognitive errors set in place that alter their ability to make judgments and function in the every-day world. Most people with anxiety tend overestimate the probability of the occurrence of the worry at hand. On the other hand some people assume that an outcome will be much less manageable than it actually is, also known as catastrohpizing. A big commonality amongst those suffering anxiety is the human tendency to be intolerant of uncertainty, the fear of ambiguity, and the acceptance of change.

Most people don’t like to be surprised by negative events, and more often than not, we want to try and control (or limit) the amount and impact of those negative events. But humans cannot know, or evade every problem—sometimes we just have to go through the pain. And attempting to control or change something you have no power to control or change is physically exacerbating to the human body and psyche. Taking risks, accepting change, and understanding that uncertainty is not an abyss of pain and negativity is a part of alleviating some anxiety.  Dr. Biali (2012), as do many psychologists, argues that anxiety is not always bad—it’s a part of experiencing life and trying something new3,4. Now, excessive anxiety about things you truly can’t control becomes tiresome and is often how clients present—overly stressed. Biali (2012), suggests several healthy ways to help people reduce anxiety, including, writing one’s worries down, practice breathing exercises, do yoga or stretching and exercise to alleviate muscle tension, and to avoid stimulants (like caffeinated beverages)3. Will this rid you of your anxiety? Probably not, but it can help you manage it.

Biali (2012) and Markway (2012), both suggest that in order to address and solve issues regarding your anxiety and excessive worry, one should invoke the assistance of a professional that is trained to guide you in restructuring your current cognitive methodology, and avoidance behaviors. According to the National Institute of Mental Health and the Psychological Diagnostic Manual, people with anxiety disorders usually benefit from methods of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and/or Exposure Therapy. Here at Anchor Counseling Center, we have therapists trained in both CBT and exposure therapy to help you reduce your anxiety and manage healthier lifestyle.

By: Aryssa Washington

Sources

1The American Psychiatric Association: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision, Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000.

2www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/anxiety-disorders/complete-index.shtml

3Biali, S. (2012). How to manage the anxiety that comes with change. Prescription for Life: Psychology Today com

4Markway, B. (2012). Can Willpower help you overcome social anxiety: willpower is not always about giving something up. Shyness Is Nice: Psychology Today.com

Does your Teen need counseling?

May 10, 2011   //   by Shawna Figueira   //   Blog, East Providence, Lincoln, Rhode Island, Mental Health, cranston  //  No Comments

At Anchor Counseling we provide therapy to Adolescents to help them and their families get back on track.  These maybe the most difficult years for these young people.  They deal with many psychosocial stressors including individual, family, and peer pressure.

Some may have Anxiety, Depression, a history of abuse (Trauma), Behavioral issues, Anger, an Easting Disorder.  Whatever the issues, we can help.

We will provide your son or daughter with the most professional, reliable and consistent emotional support to them and the entire family while we help assist and identify the issues at hand.  This phase of their lives can be very challenging for the entire family.  Getting them to understand themselves and give them coping skills to assist in modulating emotions is a step in the right direction no matter what the issue is.

If you know someone that could benefit from therapy please contact us.

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